Do you know what your kids are doing online?
By Kristine Kofoed, Web Communications Coordinator, OACAS

“Parents have a responsibility to monitor the whereabouts of their kids, whether it’s in the real world or the cyberworld.”
- Dr. David Walsh, Psychologist and President of the National Institute on Media and the Family

The Internet is an incredible tool, but it is fraught with risk, especially when it comes to our children. According to an Ipso-Reid study, Inter@ctive Teens: The Impact of the Internet on Canada’s Next Generation, Canadian teens spend an average of 13 hours a week online. Parents may set guidelines and boundaries to keep their kids safe, but do we really know exactly what our kids are doing online and who they're talking to?

As parents, we have to come to terms with the fact that technology has impacted the way our children grow up. Technological advances have given kids even more ways of reaching out from the confines of their living rooms and bedrooms to connect with their friends as well as people around the world they've never met in real life. Kids can chat in real-time with other players on the Xbox, send text messages and pictures via their cell phones, as well as broadcast their emotional state or physical location to all their „friends' on Facebook or Twitter.

This technology is not going away, and since most teenagers aren't exactly known for their self-management skills or foresight, it's up to us as parents to not only educate ourselves about the technology our children use, but to ensure that our kids are not engaging in risky behavior online.

Do children deserve privacy when interacting online?

Some parents struggle with the idea of monitoring their children's Internet activities, especially when it comes to older children. It is normal for teenagers to want to assert their independence; that's where they're at developmentally. Nevertheless, it is important to remember that ensuring a child's safety through responsible supervision should always be paramount over concerns about invading privacy.

Talk openly with your kids about the potential dangers that exist on the Internet. Set clear expectations about the behavior that is expected from them. Some parents have their children sign an Internet contract that spells out exactly what behavior is and is not allowed. Reinforce the idea that the Internet is a public place and that it is forever, meaning once content is posted, whether it be in an email, chat room, instant messaging or posting a picture, we lose all control over how that content is used. Be up front with your children and let them know you will be monitoring their Internet behavior.

So what exactly are the risks?

Cybertip.ca, Canada's national tip line for reporting the online exploitation of children, lists the top 5 risks to Canadian children on the Internet and recommends strategies for parents:

Risk #1: Sexual predators target online games that have chat rooms including interactive web games, computer and console games.

Recommended Strategies

• Stay involved and know the games your child is playing.
• Pay particular attention to games that incorporate a chat component - caution should be used before permitting your child to engage in chat with their opponents.
• Reinforce the concept of keeping personal information private.
• Some gaming consoles come with built in parental controls - activate this feature if available.
• Pay attention to what features come with your gaming console. For example, you may not want to give your child the ability to voice chat with others.
  

Risk #2: Sexual predators hijacking instant messaging (IM) accounts and coercing children/adolescents to send nude or partially clothed images of themselves.

Recommended Strategies

• Follow computer best practices such as installing anti-virus, firewalls and keeping your software up to date.
• Stress the importance of using appropriate passwords for instant messaging accounts. Obvious passwords are an easy way for others to gain access and control over accounts.
• Never enter your password into anything other than your IM program. Teach your child to check with you if unsure about the login area they are being asked to sign into.
• As the parent/guardian, you should be the only one that knows your child's password.

Risk #3: Sexual predators using 3D animated characters, referred to as avatars, to engage children/adolescents in online conversations.

Recommended Strategies

• Be aware of the IM/game program your child uses and any associated characters they have adopted to represent themselves (avatar).
• Ensure your child's avatar is age appropriate and non-descriptive. Recognize that avatars don't have to represent a person and can be used to mislead children/youth.
• Ensure they always get your permission before sharing personal information or accepting anything. Teach them what is meant by personal information and where on the Internet they may be asked for it.
• Be aware of all the contact names on your child's IM list and set the expectation that you must approve any new contacts added.

Risk #4: Sexual predators target social networking sites where children/adolescents are encouraged to create online diaries and connect with new people.

Recommended Strategies

• Review the social networking sites that your child visits and ensure that their online diary, profile, or photos do not contain identifying information.
• Be aware that your child can be exposed to inappropriate content as there is little or no moderation of content on social networking sites.
• Most social networking sites are designed for age 13 and up but do not require age verification to become a member; therefore, it is very easy for young children to join.

Risk #5: Youth sending nude images to peers without understanding that the images can be forwarded and/or permanently posted online.

Recommended Strategies

• Reinforce the public nature of the Internet and make sure your child understands that you will monitor their online activity.
• Explain where it is appropriate for them to have privacy: confiding in close friends face-to-face, writing in a journal, private space in their bedroom (there is no privacy on the Internet).
• Monitor use of webcams, cell phones, posting and exchanging pictures online.
• Explain that once a picture is sent online they lose control of what is done with it (it may never be completely removed from the Internet).
• Monitor increased independence. Even though adolescents can appear as though they can “handle” things, they actually require and unconsciously seek adult guidance and supervision.

About the Author
Kristine Kofoed is the Web Communications Coordinator at OACAS.

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